1.24 — The look on RR's dream face when the army crushes a piano.

1.25 — David fantasizing: I wonder what she looks like without her celphone.

1.28 — Jeff, back from Massachusetts where he avoided the Sandwich Police.

2.09 — Steve's Civil Service motto: Why work for an asshole when you can be one?

2.18 — No one found Vincenzo dead in front of blaring TV for a year.

2.19 — I'm fixated on my spiritual quest when not torturing the cat.

3.03 — He comes back from Vegas with a cold — that's not a cold, it's an STD.

3.04 — After I got her email, I pulled the extra pillow from my bed.

3.07 — Her father dies and she has to go out and get her hair tinted.

3.08 — Rebecca says I was drinking green tea before any of you Crackers.

4.05 — They want a stool sample, what a load of crap! No Pop, it's just a smidge.

4.05 — The sign at dairy queen says: New Flamethrower Chicken Now Hiring.

4.08 — Tell Richard I'm laying off women — he says You gonna wear the patch?

4.18 — Each from our respective cars watching her tennis game, the ex- & I.

4.28 — "Charlie Potts, want to be the Poet Laureate?" No, I read the job description.

5.02 — If he would just start using his heart he wouldn't need that machine.

5.09 — Cel phones or pollination — honey bees would rather die than listen.

5.16 — Ma before the Wednesday pillbox — Cholesterol or Tranquilizer?

6.10 — She says they rebuild New Orleans w/o black people — white beans & rice.

6.19 — Jeff Graves missed rendezvous w/ his girl — resting below a cliff, in peace.

6.20 — Secret agents pursue in snow forcing me to hold my breath in dreams.

6.26 — Boss gives me a Welcome to the College gift — Alcatraz potholder.

7.03 — Hour's wages shot up in three sparkly minutes — Happy Independence Day!

7.04 — Cat corpse on sidewalk, rabbit corpse on the bike trail — Happy Independence Day!

7.24 — Morning sun reflects off sidewalk slug trails as I drag my ass into work.

7.26 — I told you I don't have time on my phone, that's why I keep hangin' up on you!

7.31 — Sign of age? She puts on vanilla perfume, I wonder who's got cake.

8.09 — Wallingford karaoke singer does Coldplay's Yellow, gets beat up.

8.27 — If you can crawl out your chair to get on her man, you can take a beatin'.

9.07 — That's an experience I've never had he says, nose full of menstrual blood.

9.08 — Good thing I cleaned the kitchen floor shiny target on which the cat could urp.

9.17 — Graffiti on an old fridge in New Orleans: Make Levees, not War.

9.22 — She's a joy and we'll miss her terribly here in the heart center.

10.02 — At the spot where my car was totaled, five years later, a traffic circle.

10.21 — Pop tells Barb: You don't have to be nice to her today, it's not her birthday.

10.22 — She pulled a tornado out the back of my skull — it was relaxing.

10.31 — Josephina says she's going to give Trick-or-Treaters cebollas.

11.05 — Distracted, I can't get by the cat urp before it becomes a hot lunch.

11.07 — Proposed epitaph: Liked to applaud to the rhythm of The Tin Man.

11.16 — Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at Lowe's — Rotorwash of ceiling fans.

11.17 — This piece of free-range chicken may be live, would taste better w/ floor dirt.

11.20 — On the beach he skidded to a stop & then someone sucked out his heart.

11.27 — Yesterday doctors gave Dick Cheney shock treatment on the wrong organ.

12.02 — Who new it would be more than just syntax the President would torture?

12.04 — When Janet warns Julie: Don't blow your per capita — Instant Bitch Lips.

12.19 — His T-shirt said: Vegetarian is Indian for Bad Hunter.

12.21 — Serial form lends itself to Andoumboulous liminality.